My hair is gone. My head was so sore today, from my heavy hair weighing on my scalp. And my hair was pouring out — so I gave in. John and Joey were my stylists. I put my hair in three ponytails and they took turns cutting them off. Then they shaved my head. Joey did some shaving while telling me how pretty he thinks bald people are. He also said I might look funny with a bald head. And he told me he sees bald people all the time. He’s very honest.
Today’s haircut was hard. It was hard to see my hair fall to the ground. It is hard to realize that my body needs drugs so strong that I can’t keep my hair. It is hard to look at a bald head.
So now I am wearing my new hair. I do like it. It’s blonder than mine which brightens up my look a bit. I didn’t realize how dark my hair had become until I saw it on the floor. My hats fit perfectly with my new style. And I think my morning routine is going to be much quicker now. I just have to put my hair on — instead of drying it, curling it, styling it.
At night, I will wear a cotton cap to keep my head warm — and so I don’t have to see my bald head. For now, anyway. I’m sure in time I will get accustomed to it . And I may even post a photo one day.
Jacki Donaldson
My precious Jacki ! I’m sitting here with tears spilling out of my eyes. I just wish I could hold you … tell you, ” There, there, it’s ok. “. I know it’s not, but I want it to be. Surrender ? I think not. You saw this evil thing coming, and hit it head on. You took control. You made it happen at a time of your choosing, with your guys by your side. Did you save a ” ponytail ” ? Maybe you could store it with John’s on-the-way-to-boot-camp last minute haircut hair. You’re beautiful today and always. Hair isn’t what has made that so. I love you !! UTTS Jane
I also have eyes full of tears for you. Not because of your illness because you are a survivor, but for how strong you are. I don’t think I have anyone else in my life like you. You are one of the most remarkable people I have ever met. I don’t think I could be as strong about the entire thing. I am so sorry for this journey that you have to take. I miss you so much and wish I could see you and hug you. Find comfort in Joey’s “honesty” and use their love to stay strong. I miss you!!!
A milestone in your life but one that I bet you never thought you would be going through…unbelievable…unfreakinbelievable. I was thinking the other day when I was looking at your picture that in my mind’s memory you have short hair so you with this “new look” makes perfect sense to me–selfish, no? Sigh…yet another inadequate response when what I really wish I could do is just hug you and be there to go on a walk with you and sit with you while you go through a treatment and talk with you to take your mind off of things for just a few minutes. Love to you, Dell
Cotton beanies are very popular with the young crowd right now! I am certain you will fit right in with that college town.
Your writing sounds as though you are getting stronger… more accepting of this phase of your treatment. I hope that is true… that you are feeling stronger both mentally and physically.
Do your boys like to rub your head… Does Danny like to twist your new hair in his hand? Can he tell the difference?
I am sure they are curious about the changes you are going through. I am also sure that they provide many hours of entertainment with all their expressions!
Thinking of you…
Renee
Jacki -
I’ve gone over the words in my head countless times, but the truth is, no words can do justice for what you are facing right now. Your strength and inner beauty are truly amazing.
I am always impressed at the strength you, your mom and sister possess (along with Gram too!). I know this is just another test in the road for you all. Try to keep your head up and let people take care of you when you need it most.
You are one of the most creative and sweet people I’ve ever met and I know you will make it through this with full scrapbook pages! You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday! Thank you for opening my eyes to something that all women should be more aware of. I thank you for that!
Love… Ellanna
I know your beautiful blonde hair was tough to lose, but remember the innocent, sweet comments Joey said while he was cutting it off:
“You’re gonna be bald in a minute”
“You don’t have to be mad that your gonna die, cause this is only a hair cut”
“It’s kinda pretty like that, that’s my favorite thing, when someone has a bald head”
“It‚Äôs pretty, but not so pretty, but it looks pretty”
I know you think I’m saying this because I’m contractually obligated to say things like this, but you have a great shaped head. You look better bald than I do. I know most of this whole thing is on the inside, the nausea, the pain, the chemotherapy, but the hair loss is visual. By the way, nobody is looking at your wig as closely as you are; it looks beautiful and is so close to your natural hair that nobody can tell. If Jacki didn’t mention, I tried it on and looked like Garth from Saturday Night Live.
Love, John
John’s comments made me smile. The day you came into his life was like no other. You and the boys are his life … and it is such a good one. Bald or not, we who love you see only the sparkling Jacki. May I mention here that Jacki continues her routine and role as wife and mother. This nasty cancer is no match for Jacki’s strength ! Love, Jane
What can I say? Nothing that hasn’t already been said so I will continue to pray.
Jacki’s Beauty
High above a mountain’s green forest rises the peak.
Where scraggly rock replaces lush meadows
and thinning air makes the knees grow weak.
This is where the bald eagle soars,
lifted by a thermal above a barren summit.
As I imagine the majesty of this bird’s eye view,
this is the beauty I feel when I think of you.
Thank you for sharing your battle with breast cancer with me.
Thank you for taking my soul to new heights.
Love,
Bev
WOW!
Now Bev knows how to post a comment!
Hi! Okay, first I have to say that you are so darn brave, you need to know that!! I am not going to lie, I couldn’t imagine going through all this. You are very lucky to have such a supportive family. Hopefully years from now you can look back and laugh. I still remember coming home from school with Patti (Do you remember Patti?) and her brother picking her up at my house. My mom had lost her hair and was wearing one of the cotton beanie hat. Tom (Patti’s brother) came in to get her and my mom took the beanie off. I was mortified, but Tom (who was also bald) and my mom sat there and compared baldness and the roundness of their heads. I can think of the story now and laugh at it all.
I also remember when my mom’s hair was growing back in (both times, she lost it twice to cancer) and how mindful she was to not wearing the beanie. I proceeded to get photos online of people who where wearing short haircuts, you know the new fashion in the 90’s.
So as all things come to a circle, it will grow back. I know, not soon enough probably for you. So, when it starts to grow back, I will go online and find you photos of fashionable short-short hair cuts!
LITB- Nicole
Ib6DjD r u crazzy? I told u! I can’t read!