How cancer shapes me

I am a breast cancer survivor. I am also a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a friend, a scrapbooker, a shopper (I love shoes!) a preschool teacher, a licensed hair stylist, and a writer. I’m sure I have forgotten something because I know I am a whole lot more than these titles suggest. Somehow, though, in my mind, “breast cancer survivor” seems to loom over all these other roles I play. Sometimes I think this is not okay — that I should not be defined by a disease that I do believe I will conquer. But other times, I think this is okay. Cancer is big. It’s monumental. And it does affect all these roles. It has changed my physical appearance so I doubt that cancer will ever be far from the front of my mind. And it has changed my mothering — I’m a little more patient and a lot more raw when it comes to love I feel for my baby boys. It has changed me as a friend — it reminds me to keep in touch with long-lost friends and to maintain friends who are close to me. It makes me see the preschoolers I work with as little beings who need so much love and attention and care — and it makes me happy that I get to share warmth and compassion with them while their parents are away. And cancer has led me to a new job — as a writer or “blogger” — and has rekindled in me the thrill of writing something that is read by many. I remember first seeing my name in print in my college newspaper when I was a journalism major (a major I dropped to instead pursue a degree in counseling and education). It was exciting then. It is exciting now.

I have had three posts published on www.thecancerblog.com. My job is to write 50 or more posts per month on the topic of cancer. Yesterday I wrote about a sister breast cancer survivor who has inspired me and also about Hip Hats — the internet store where I bought my wigs. Today I wrote about Chemo Angels — a volunteer organization that assigns volunteers to write to patients experiencing treatment for cancer. So I’ve seen my name appear three times, complete with my own story and photo and headline and I am eager to write more. And to receive a paycheck too!

So cancer does not define me. But it does shape me. If it weren’t for cancer, I would not be as thoughtful about some of my roles in this world. And I would not have been offered this job. Because of cancer and my personal blog, I was “discovered” by someone who liked my writing and thought I could offer something valuable to a whole audience of people. Cancer has awakened me to my love for writing and is heading me down a new, bright path. A path of discovery and happiness.

For a change.

Jacki Donaldson

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4 Responses to “How cancer shapes me”

  1. April says:

    So nice to hear that things are going in a positive direction for you. You have touched so many already with your stories of survival, and I know there will be many more inspirations to come.

    Adam’s parents mentioned yesterday that his sister Kim goes for her 5 year check-up in a couple of weeks to follow-up from her stomach cancer. I was taken back by the fact that it has been 5 years already since she faced her cancer. I then started thinking about you and how far you have come since being diagnosed and I can’t wait to remember with you when your 5 year anniversary since beating cancer rolls around.
    Continue to be strong and fight for all you do. You deserve everything good thing that is happening for you.

    Love, April

  2. Jane says:

    Jacki has many skills. So many more than she has noted here. Yesterday I opened a lovely memory book she created for my sons to give me. It has Jacki written all over it. Not really, but the sense of her. Ribbons, small photos, quotes and flowers .. all bits of Jacki. I was so glad to have it in my hands. Thank you, Jacki.

    Keep letting the petals of the flower that is you unfold.

    Love, Jane

  3. Nancy says:

    Jacki-Are you a Florida Girl? There are a few of us from Young Survival Coalition who have formed our own ’sub-coalition’ here in Florida. We all just met in Destin over the Memorial Day Weekend. Would love it if you could be a part of the group!
    Nancy

    http://wehrell.blogspot.com

  4. Antigone says:

    jacki i reached your blog because i am doing research on cancer facilities. i am an interior design student, and currently in studio we are designing a cancer center. it has been a very challenging and rewarding assignment.
    thank you for sharing your experience, it’s valuable in many ways.
    please continue writing; be strong.
    antigone

    reachnoni@yahoo.com

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