I’ve had a cough for two weeks now. It’s so bad I’d hack all night if it weren’t for a narcotic-strength suppressant I’m taking. It’s so bad it’s making me vomit, it’s irritating my family members, and along with some lingering tummy tuck swelling that’s consuming my mind, it’s preventing me from exercising. I hate that.
Along with my cough, I get chills now and then and on occasion, I have a low-grade fever. It all makes sense, all these symptoms, because Joey had the very same illness just before me. The very same—the annoying cough, the throwing up, the chills, the fever. Clearly, he passed his germs on to me, and I’m probably passing them on to someone else right now. But I must admit that the thought has crossed my mind: Could it be something more? Like cancer.
Sure, it could be. A persistent cough can sometimes signal a problem in the lungs. It’s just not very likely. And really, I don’t believe anything serious is wrong with me. It’s simply my head. You see, it’s wired now with this very sensitive alarm system. If ever cancer comes back, I plan to fight like mad, so my brain alerts me when something, however small it may be, goes amiss. It could be a funny something I feel in my breast, a headache that won’t go away, or an ache in my belly.
This time it’s a cough, which will probably go away and take up residence in John’s body, causing him to hack, spit up, and get all cold and hot and bothered. And I won’t worry at all. Because he’s never had cancer. I have.
Photo courtesy of whiskeyandtears on flickr
Here’s to a quick recovery. I can definitely understand the “alarm bells,” and hope you can quickly call this one a false alarm.
Hi,
I’m Janet, mom of 2, 46 and newly diagnosed w/IDC, stage 3, 2.6 cm tumour, seg, mas. and sent. node biopsy two weeks ago.
Re: Your cough and fever.Think like a normal person. Think it’s a virus.
Everyone in the world has cancer unually about 2% of our cells are cancerous.Mine just got a little out of control. My disease doesn’t define me. I am not “Janet the cancer patient.” I am “Janet xxxx’s Mom” or “Janet the great gardener.” Cancer is not special enough to deserve a by-line in my life!!!!
I have decided to think of my cancer as a chronic disease which then annoys the hell out of me because I already have several serious diseases.(RA arthritus, Lupus,etc) And I am still wrestling with the rage that while I was critically ill the last three years my white cells allowed some sickly cancer cells to slip by. So when I recovered and was starting to congratulate myself that I had managed to keep things in my family mostly together and keep myself from becoming too suicidal- I managed to give myself cancer. The key, is actually that I was too sick, for too long a period last time that I started to think about death and really my body was just doing what I told it to do by creating, in the life-threatening fast growing tumour a way for me to die…Even so tonight I want to howl at the moon with rage.Today I received a call from the Tom Baker Cancer Center where I have been scheduled for a new patient orientation.This coupled with all the other stupid meetings I have had to go to for pre-opt, then post-opt care, then breast drain/ message care…I can read,have a job and a family; I don’t need to go to a new patient orientation and watch slides.I will go to group therapy but don’t need to know the names of everyone employed by the cancer center. I don’t plan on being there that long. What I am really wrestling for is some control. I am told what Oncologist to go to, I don’t get a choice of times and somehow I have to make it all happen according to the docs schedule.That is no way to treat a sick person. Less people talking, more people doing.
I’m not afraid of chemo.My body’s defenses are stronger and more interesting. But why does cancer get so much attention? Why is everything in cancer a team sport? Why is so much made out of everything? A class for breast massage- what are they thinking? They need a new parking lot and having people pay $10 for an hour long course would be a good way to pay for it. Give me a phamplet. Or a web address or better yet let me figure it out on my own, which I did. I’ve had several life threatening diseases and this is the first time I have to attend so many classes… I even had a nurse navigator follow me around and argue with me…her job seems to be to make sure that I attend the appointments. I’m an adult who happens to have cancer. And I’m so angry at more people telling me I’m sick that I’m not going to be ill anymore. I have all my t-cells scouring my body looking for cancer cells to nuke.I am going to make some positive changes to my life, take better care of me and amp up the healing power.The doctors and medicine are only part of the team. I don’t need this disease.So I’m going to send it into remission. Last time I did it with RA I was 14,then again at 24, then Lupus at 32, then 45. I’ve already put several really scary life threatening diseases into remission and I’ll do it again with this one.
If I were to give you any advice it would be to welcome the chemo, start thinking that you are the one doing the healing; not the docs, not the meds.Doctors are people not Gods they don’t decide if you live-you do! Remember your body made the cancer and allowed it to grow- it is NOT an invader. It’s just a bunch of sickly cells your immune system missed while you were busy with other things. Ask yourself why you need this disease.Then put the sick cells to sleep or nuke them. I refuse to be a professional patient. I have a life and I’m going to keep it! The nurse navigator needs to move on.Janet