It was a shot in the dark when I asked my two little boys last night on they way home from our dinner out: “Who wants to do mommy’s hair when we get home?” Who knew both boys would shoot a hand in the air, like they eagerly wanted to answer a teacher’s question at school, and simultaneously repeat, “Me,” “Me,” “Me,” Me,” until I happily informed them they both could do my hair.
I love to have my hair done. And since I’m not sure my growing boys will want to play beauty shop for much longer, I’m capitalizing on this game while I can. I’m all-willing to let them do as they please, too. Spray bottles full of water? Sure. Yanking and pulling as they fumble a rubber band around clumps of my hair? Yep. A delayed bedtime so they can turn my hair into a tangle of knots? Of course.
“Mommy, your hair is so long,” Joey told me as his bedtime hour slipped away and he soaked my hair with blasts of water—it’s easier to brush this way, he tells me. “I remember when it was, like, one inch long,” he continued.
“Yeah, me too,” I told him, realizing I like this hair playtime for many reasons. One, it’s relaxing. Two, it gives me time with my boys. Three, it gives them time with me. Four: It means I have hair.
Gosh, is it nice to have hair—to have someone tear a brush through it and twist it into all sorts of unrecognizable styles, to pull it back into a ponytail, to have the pleasure of complaining about what this crappy Florida humidity does to my chemotherapy-acquired waves, to have an appointment on Thursday to get it cut because it’s too long.
Yes, my hair is long. Too long even.
Gosh, is it nice to have hair.
Author : Tina Koral
URL : http://www.tinakoral.com
Comment:
Yes, it IS nice to have hair. I remember when my hair first started growing back and I could feel the wind blowing through it. It was actually moving! That means it is actually growing! It’s the little things!
Love your blog!
Author : Janet Preston
Comment:
Jackie,
I read your story in Family Circle and I’m not sure why I’m writing other than it helped me in some way to understand just a small part of what my sister is going thru. She has colon cancer and has been dealing with chemo in between surgeries for the last 2 years. Susan is in New York and my mom and I are here in Florida so it has been difficult at best. I was up to NY in May and saw first hand how she was doing. A trooper , fighter is only a small part of how to describe her. Amazing , and Awesome would be accurate. Your blog as I read it helped me to understand some of the things that I’m sure she has not told us. Susan worries that too much information, is not good because we worry to much. Of course I disagree. Any ways just wanted to say Thank you and I will now bookmark your blog to read in the future. it is a link to a cancer patients world, that a non cancer patient can’t even really image. I hope and pray that you cont. to do well, Janet
Dino
Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts on the loss of your hair.
As a survivor I know first hand how extremely challenging that experience can be for most.
I do not want to de-value or down play this issue in anyway, it’s very difficult for woman to lose their hair to chemo.
Here are several ways of looking at this issue: For one its the lack of control one feels when this is occurring, secondly, the tremendous feeling that all of the sudden our femininity has been robbed!
I hope these ideas help with the above mentioned…
1) Have all the men in the family that are willing to show their support to join in on a “shave your hair party” it’s an awesome thing that one can do to show TRUE support.
(I recommend that the cancer patient shaves her head as well, or has her husband, friend or whomever she chooses). If one takes the control and shaves their own hair, one will feel more in control of their own cancer journey.
I would have given anything to know what I know today, so that I could have taken the controls away from the chemo and it into my own hands. The clumps of hair dropping unto my shower floor and on my thighs was the most horrific, God awful feeling I experienced. I now encourage women to be pro-active…it’s very emporwering to do it on our time rather then the chemo deciding when and how.
2) Get all the women in the family to join in on a “scarf party” ask the women to customize their own scarf, then select a day of the week where they will demonstrate their support by going out to dinner, movie or ? This way the patient does not feel singled out, instead they feel very supported!
3) Throw a hat party, where all the women can sit around designing their own hat’s…later that evening show your solidarity by taking a drive into town. Have fun with it!
You can also visit your local thrift store (save so money) plus, great finds.
Now that I have celebrated my 5 years cancer free, I enjoy educating the public through Susan G. Komen as well as fundraising for City of Hope & The 3-Day Walk.
This is how I managed to stay up beat & positive!
Taking in only what is necessary, step-by-step.
Faith…Faith & more Faith! Having real faith allows one to connect with the fact that we are not embarking on this journey alone.
One day at a time, don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed.
Exercising during chemo was a life saver for me, it released stress and allowed me to re-energize my spirit.
Healthy eating, yes we hear that everywhere…for higher levels of energy smart eating is key. Stay away from processed foods, eat whole clean natural foods.
Avoided crowded places, if you are aware of someone being sick “steer clear.”
Carry hand sanitizer with you at all times, uses it several times a day.
THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS ENTIRE THREAD (in my experience)!!!
Surround yourself with positive, hopeful, supportive, upbeat, faithful individuals.
God Bless!
JenniferM
I lost my hair as well. The good news is that it grows back! And you look pretty good without hair! (not all of us do).
I am not a breast cancer patient but one of my best friends is. I have been with her the whole entire road; telling everyone, hair loss, sickness, etc. and I have to say for once in my life, “I” felt useless. Of course, to her, I was her rock, always being there for her, but this was something I couldn’t control and I didn’t like that feeling. I subscribe to Family Circle and I read your story and it flashed back to my friend, Caryn. I will never forget when she called me after she got out of the shower, crying uncontrolably that her hair was falling out in clumps. I offered to go there and help her shave her head, but she turned to her boyfriend for the comfort. She wore several wigs throughout her chemo and when it would start to grow in, we would run to the bathroom and she would show me. Her hair too, grew in darker, thicker and curly. Now, three years later and cancer free, her hair too has gotten lighter and she is back to being her blonde self. I applaud you for sharing your story, your life. I will look forward to reading your day to day entries and as you state in the article, it’s just the beginning. I wish you nothing but the best.
Jacki,
My mom shared your article in Family Circle with me and I am so glad she did. I am a breast cancer patient and had Chemo #4 – my final ‘major’ TCH treatment session – two weeks ago. I am so grateful to have this phase behind me. Like you I am HER2 positive and am taking Herceptin. I will be continuing this treatment through next July.
Now that the chemicals that caused my hair loss are finishing their journey through my body, I find myself more frustrated with my bald head. The novelty of it has worn off and now I just want to get back to feeling normal again – and normal to me means that I feel feminine … with hair. Your story and blog entries give me hope and are helping me express my own fears and frustrations as I travel down this uncertain road… with hope and faith.
I find it frustrating when people say ‘it’s just hair’.. ‘it will grow back’. I realize that people don’t know what to say. There is nothing I can do but wait. I just feel so vulnerable…
Blessings to you and your family,
Michelle
I know exactly how loosing your hair feels. Just like you I have kept an online diary. Keep fighting and keep strong.
God Bless