my Breast Cancer blog

2004, age 34 — this is my story

Home » 2010 » May

Time Heals My Wounds

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Photo: tanakawho, Flickr

Time may not heal all wounds, but in my case, it definitely blurs them. Let’s talk chemo, that horrible thing from which most of my breast cancer wounds developed.

For each of my four dose-dense infusions of adriamycin and cytoxan, my sister delivered lunch to the pink pretend-leather recliner I called home for hours at a time. There was a yummy gyro, a delish tuna sandwich, a great turkey sub, and I can’t remember the fourth one — which is exactly my point: I can’t remember. Time has erased my memory of the food that so repulsed me I couldn’t eat it for years. Years!

It’s been five years since my chemotherapy ended. And just now have I realized that the thought of these foods does not make me want to vomit. They actually sound pretty appetizing.

All it took was time. The same time that has allowed my hair to grow back, my surgery and port scars to fade, and my fear of recurrence to morph into something almost unrecognizable.

Yes, my wounds have healed — not completely and entirely, but mostly.

I love that.

Survivor Stacie Wins a Massage

stacie-200jd052110

Stacie is a winner!

I don’t usually announce giveaway results, but I think I should. That way, the winners get recognition, and others can be sure that someone really did score the big prize. No wacky giveaway scams here — this is the real deal, and I want you to know it!

So, Stacie from Ohio gets the kudos today, for winning a free hour-long massage. She is one deserving gal, too. Here’s what she wrote when she entered to win:

Thanks so much for offering this awesome giveaway! I am sooooo in need of a massage these days! I just scheduled my double mastectomy for June 23rd and would love to have some much needed relaxation before the “big day!” Whomever wins this will be one LUCKY, WELL-DESERVING LADY!! Good luck to all!

You are the lucky lady, Stacie. Enjoy, and best wishes for a successful surgery and recovery!

Giveaway winners are chosen randomly with Random.org.

All Day Today

Photo: ladyheart, morgueFile

Photo: ladyheart, morgueFile

All day today, I can’t stop backtracking five years, back to the day I was wheeled into surgery, not knowing what my surgeon would find when he sliced open my left breast in search of a tumor that was threatening my life. I’m sailing back in time today because someone I know is in an operating room right now. Her surgeon is removing both of her breasts, one containing a malignant tumor and the other marked by something precancerous, and that makes today her day of unknown. She doesn’t know what the docs will find: How big will the tumor be? Will the cancer have spread? What treatment will she face?

Unknown.

I asked my husband last night if he remembers my day of unknown. Of course he does, he told me, and what he recalls most vividly are the steps the surgeon took toward him in the hospital waiting area, once I was all closed up and starting to recover from my lumpectomy. When the steps stopped, the talking started, and John and my mom got some news: My tumor was 1.1 cm, it was Stage 1, it had not spread. They considered this all good news. When they told me, I did, too.

What will my friend learn today when her surgeon starts to talk? No one knows, yet. But I can’t get my head to think about anything else, all day today.

Free One Hour Massage: Giveaway

massageenvy.com

massageenvy.com

Time for another giveaway. Here’s why:

I recently participated in some sort of survey, and for my effort, I received a gift card for a free hour-long massage. And now that my prize has arrived, I realize there is not a location nearby at which I can redeem it. Maybe there’s one near you, and if so, I invite you to leave a comment and enter this giveaway. If your name is randomly chosen, well, then, you get the gift card.

Instructions for entering:

  • Go to the Massage Envy website, and determine whether or not there’s a location you can easily visit. If so,
  • Leave a comment and reveal why exactly you simply must have this gift card.
  • Leave your comment no later than 5PM ET on Thursday, May 20, 2010.
  • You may enter only once.
  • Open to legal residents of the United States and Canada only, who are 18 and older.
  • One winner will be selected in a random drawing.
  • One winner will receive a gift card good for one free hour-long massage.
  • No P.O. boxes.
  • Winners will be notified by email, so make sure to check next week to find out if you’ve won!

Note to cancer folks: Please check with your docs about massage, because if you’re like me, you need someone skilled in post-cancer massage. I personally have some missing lymph nodes, and this affects how fluids flow through my body. Massage can sometimes complicate matters like these. There, you’ve been warned.

The Cost of Surviving Cancer

Photo: geishaboy500, Flickr

Photo: geishaboy500, Flickr

Surviving cancer is a good thing. Really, it is. I mean, look at the alternative. Still, living on and on after a cancer diagnosis comes with a little bit of a price tag.

My personal bottom line: the potential for heart disease, maybe some additional cancers and increased cancer risk for some family members. No one can promise these curses will come to life, but no one says they won’t either. And that’s why I visited today with a very nice doctor at the forward-thinking Cancer Survivor Program at Shands Hospital, to learn all about what might face me, and what I can do about it all.

My heart. In the past five years, I’ve had three treatments with the power to compromise cardiac function. There’s that toxic Adriamycin chemo drug (four doses, two weeks apart, over eight weeks time), and the radiation that zapped the area directly over my heart (every day for six weeks), and then Herceptin — the potential life-saver that sailed through my veins every three weeks over the course of one whole year. The good news is that I’m probably out of the woods with Herceptin, it usually does its damage during treatment or shortly thereafter. But the chemo drug and the radiation, these still have time, and usually, adverse reactions occur eight to ten years after chemotherapy. Enter the echocardiogram. I’ll have one in three years to start monitoring my ticker. And I’ll keep exercising and (mostly) eating right to keep in good shape. (Today’s resting heart rate: 50.)

More cancers. Sometimes leukemia comes as a side effect of chemotherapy (ironic, isn’t it?), but I’m likely beyond the risky time frame for that one. Bladder cancer isn’t entirely out of the question, however, because one of my poisonous chemo drugs was processed through my bladder, and apparently, that’s not a great thing. Skin cancer, too. My risk is higher now. Perhaps the basal cell cancer I had removed from my left arm last year can be linked to this risk. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. I should pay attention to the left side of my body, though, says my doc, because that’s where another cancer might show up.

My kids. My kiddos — both boys — are not really at risk. Of course, they can get breast cancer, it’s just not very probable. And their kids, if they have girls, are not at higher risk, either, even though their grandma (me!) had the disease. Had I tested positive for BRCA, they would have been. But I didn’t, so they aren’t.

My sister’s two girls — no one knows for sure, but they probably will be fine. Same for my mom — the risk travels mostly from older to younger, not younger to older. My sister (sorry, Tracy!) is the one who gets the short end of the stick. My having had breast cancer ups her risk, which is why she gets a mammogram every year, and why she’s already had a baseline MRI.

Am I scared by the cost of surviving cancer? No. I have every reason to believe none of this will ever affect me. And if it does, worrying about it now won’t do me a bit of good. If anything, I’m just happy to be alive and thrilled that I had the chance to sit with a doctor five years after I wasn’t sure I’d survive at all.

Ellen Pompeo Says: Choose You!

Ellen Pompeo (left) / LiGado em Série, Flickr

Ellen Pompeo (left) / Photo: LiGado em Série, Flickr

Grey’s Anatomy” star Ellen Pompeo has teamed up with the American Cancer Society, and she’s spreading a very important message: Choose You. Here’s what she wants you to do:

Eat right.
Get active.
Quit smoking.
Get regular health checks.
Protect your skin.

Some pretty good advice, eh?

May 12 is National Choose You Day, but why wait until then — get started now! Here are some resources to help you get the ball rolling.