my Breast Cancer blog

2004, age 34 — this is my story

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Be Heard With a (Free) Pink Podium

Photo: www.ampli.com

Photo: www.ampli.com

Now, this is really cool: in support of breast cancer awareness, AmpliVox Sound Systems has manufactured a series of pink podiums to donate to breast cancer events and seminars, and they are being donated to anyone who is interested. Freight is included.

This is all part of the AmpliVox Pink Podium Promise. By donating one pink podium to every breast cancer awareness event or seminar, AmpliVox wants to raise the bar on being heard.

If you want to speak up about breast cancer, get the full scoop here.

The Body Fat Solution: Book Giveaway

thebodyfatsolution.com

thebodyfatsolution.com

If you are concerned about your body fat (and you should be, because carrying excess weight is linked to a whole bunch of cancers), then here’s a book you might want to get your hands on: The Body Fat Solution: Five Principles for Burning Fat, Building Lean Muscle, Ending Emotional Eating, and Maintaining Your Perfect Weight.

The book is written by Tom Venuto, fat loss expert, nutrition researcher, natural (steroid-free) bodybuilder and author. And lucky you, because what follows is some great insight from Venuto about how we can get fatter as the temps get colder — and whether you live in Ohio or Orlando, you know it’s been mighty chilly outside. Something else follows, too: a chance for you to win a copy of The Body Fat Solution. So read on, check out the giveaway rules and leave your comment.

Does Cold Weather Make You Store Body Fat?
By Tom Venuto,
Author of The Body Fat Solution: Five Principles for Burning Fat, Building Lean Muscle, Ending Emotional Eating, and Maintaining Your Perfect Weight

Do you get fatter in the cold weather? It’s a good question right now, and the answer is yes!

First there’s the psychological explanation: in warm climates, people are wearing less clothes and enjoying the outdoors and people want to look good when they’re exposing more flesh! In the cold, you’re covered up, so there’s less self-consciousness and no public accountability. Therefore, most people tend to stay on a diet more diligently and train harder when summer rolls around.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) has been studied at length by psychologists. Often more than just the “winter blues” but an actual type of depression, SAD occurs during the short days and long nights of winter and fall, when there’s less sunlight and colder temperatures. Symptoms include depression, cravings for specific foods, loss of energy, hopelessness and oversleeping. Obviously, these types of symptoms can contribute to weight gain.

Because of their tendency for fall and winter weight gain, many people have suspected that cold temperatures influence weight gain on a metabolic level, not just eating more. Exposure to cold temperatures can cause a shivering thermogenesis which means there’s an increase in metabolism to produce more heat (heat production = calories burned).

However, if you just got the bright idea of turning off the heat in your house, or going for a swim in the cold surf every day to “burn more fat”, I wouldn’t recommend it. Deliberate exposure to the cold, either cold air or cold water doesn’t pan out into real world fat loss results, even though there are actually “fat loss gurus” who recommend it.

Here’s why:

If your body uses some energy for shivering or heat production, it can compensate later for that energy loss by increasing your appetite. Not only that, research at the hyperbaric environmental adaptation program at the Naval Medical Research Institute in Bethesda, Maryland reported that, “The combination of exercise and cold exposure does NOT act to enhance metabolism of fats . . . Cold-induced vasoconstriction of peripheral adipose tissue may account, in part, for the decrease in lipid mobilization.”

It’s just not practical to freeze your butt off in an attempt to speed up your metabolism a tiny little bit, so your fat loss scheme wouldn’t last long if you tried.

A great example of how cold temperatures affect energy balance is in the case of swimming. For years, people thought swimming actually made you fat. There were all kinds of theories, like, “it makes you retain a layer of fat for insulation, like seals.” Actually, the most recent research shows that swimming is a perfectly good fat burning exercise, except for one thing: Swimming, especially in cold water, increases appetite dramatically.

The seasons affect your activity levels too. Pedometer research published in the journal Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise uncovered a huge difference in the number of steps taken between the summer and winter:

7616 steps per day in summer
6293 steps per day in fall
5304 steps per day in winter
5850 steps in spring

Most people blame winter weight gain on the food, but it’s not just the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s celebration feasts, it’s less winter activity that also contributes to the holiday pounds.

You have to keep up your training and nutrition program in the winter, or else.

Although studies have found that seasonal weight gain is usually very small, it’s the type of slow weight creep that goes unnoticed. Over a period of 10, 15 or 20 years, it’s enough to accumulate into overweight or obesity.

Thus many men and women wake up one morning at age 40 or 45, look in the mirror and ask themselves, “How did I get so heavy?” Answer: just a pound or two a year, after each winter season, left unchecked.

To stay lean all year round, you have to remain alert about increases in your appetite and decreases in your activity. This is a YEAR-ROUND LIFESTYLE! Stay active, stay diligent about nutrition, stay accountable, and if you start to experience weight gain, nip it in the bud — fast!

© 2010 Tom Venuto, author of The Body Fat Solution: Five Principles for Burning Fat, Building Lean Muscle, Ending Emotional Eating, and Maintaining Your Perfect Weight

Author Bio

Tom Venuto is a fat-loss expert, nutrition researcher, and natural, steroid-free bodybuilder. Since 1989, Venuto has been involved in virtually every aspect of the fitness and weight-loss industry — as a personal trainer, nutrition consultant, motivation coach, fitness model, health club manager, and bestselling author of the popular e-book Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle, as well as other digital programs such as MP3 teleseminars and weight-loss membership websites. He lives in Hoboken, New Jersey.

For more information: http://www.burnthefatblog.com/

And now for the free stuff:

  • Leave a comment and share how this book can change your life!
  • Leave your comment no later than 5PM ET on Thursday, February 18, 2010.
  • You may enter only once.
  • Open to legal residents of the 50 United States, and the District of Columbia, who are 18 and older.
  • One winner will be selected in a random drawing.
  • Two winners will receive one copy of The Body Fat Solution (valued at $17).
  • Winners will be notified by email, so make sure to check next week to find out if you’ve won!

Navigating Cancer Just Got Easier

Screen-shot-2010-01-18-at-6.34.42-PM

navigatingcancer.com

I’ve got a cardboard box sitting in my bedroom closet, overflowing with breast cancer stuff. It’s been in its same spot for five years, and every now and then, I fish stuff out of it. Sometimes I rifle through for a pamphlet; sometimes I hunt for a business card of some nurse or nutritionist or someone else. On occasion, I grab my wrinkled-up pathology report from the box, and when I want a trip down memory lane, I flip through the little pink polka dot journal I kept for a few days, then tossed to the wayside. While my breast cancer storage system seems to work for me, it could be a whole lot better. It could be better organized, better managed, and in this day and age, it really should be electronic.

Lucky you if you’re in the market for navigating your cancer journey in a much more systematic way, because a new website has just been launched, and I’ve been checking it out. In a word, it’s — great!

Navigating Cancer (it’s free!), is specifically for cancer patients and their supporters who want to create and manage a secure patient health record, keep a daily record of their well being and side effects, and create summary reports that can be shared with their healthcare team. Patients can also connect with other cancer patients.

While you mull over whether you might want to join this site, take a peek at this sample organizer, check out some cancer resources and give yourself the grand tour of the whole site. I think you’ll like how simple and easy the interface is, and it’s a really friendly place, too — happy photos, soothing colors and an overall nice feel. It’s a whole lot better than my cardboard box, that’s for sure. And while I really, really hope I never again have a reason to use a place like Navigating Cancer, at least I know there’s a spot that can make life a whole lot easier in the midst of chaos and distress.

If you’d like to read what others have to say about Navigating Cancer, just click here.

Giveaway – The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life

skinnygirldish-200jd010410

www.bethenny.com

If you’re a fan of “The Real Housewives of New York City,” then you know Bethenny Frankel. She’s not only a reality TV girl, though — she’s also a celebrity natural food chef, columnist for Health magazine and best-selling author.

First came Bethenny’s book “Naturally Thin,” detailing 10 real-life rules for escaping a lifetime of dieting, and now she’s written “The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life.” This is where she shares fast, practical and economical healthy recipes, then teaches us how to live without them. How perfect for those of us trying to live cleaner lives in less time!

Bethenny also dishes on how we can minimize the “cooking noise” in our lives. Keep reading for some inspirational nuggets — and for the scoop on how to win one of her books.

  • Do you hear yourself saying any of these things: I have no food in this house. I don’t have the slightest idea what to make for dinner. There is nothing to eat! I don’t know how to cook. That’s “cooking noise,” and you can stop it, and you can learn to feed yourself without stressing about it.
  • Food is one of the most powerful tools you have for building a healthy body and a calm mind. Food can make you strong or weak, energized or depleted, skinny or fat. You are what you eat — it’s true.
  • Being naturally thin is a practice — you will never be perfect (no one is), but you can choose a healthy path and keep plugging along on it.
  • Recipes are a bit like kindergarten. You learn some basics (how do Whole Grain Blueberry Pancakes, a Healthier Cobb Salad and Oatmeal Raisin Cookies sound?), then you gain the confidence to branch out on your own. When you know how to cook, you won’t need recipes anymore.

OK, I could go on, but then you wouldn’t need the book, and I really think you should get it. Or you could enter this giveaway for a chance to win a free copy. Details follow:

  • Leave a comment and share why you need this book!
  • Leave your comment no later than 5PM ET on Tuesday, January 12, 2010.
  • You may enter only once.
  • Open to legal residents of the 50 United States, and the District of Columbia, who are 18 and older.
  • One winner will be selected in a random drawing.
  • One winner will receive one copy of “The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life,” valued at $16.00.
  • Winners will be notified by email, so make sure to check next week to find out if you’ve won!

Want another chance to win? Same giveaway going on at Braving Boys. Click here and enter again!

Turn on the Boob Tube This Thanksgiving

kaleidoscope-400jd112209

womens.cancerinformation.com

Got a Thanksgiving TV tip for you, because, admit it — you know you’ll be curled up on the couch or stretched out on the recliner after your Turkey Day feast! Might as well grab the remote and tune into a special called “Kaleidoscope: A Celebration of Survivorship through Sport and Song.”

Why?

One out of every three women in the United States will develop some form of cancer in her lifetime — yikes! — and this program should very well open your eyes to the female fight against the disease.

Sponsored by sanofi-aventis, this heartwarming show will feature ice skating, music and celebrity cancer survivors. It all happens on November 26, 2009 on the Fox-TV network. Check your local listings for time (looks like it’s on at 4 p.m. in Florida).

For more information, please visit womens.cancerinformation.com. And if you want a cool and inspiring something to send to a friend, check out these free kaleidoscope e-cards you can craft all on your own. That’s mine pictured above.

(Free) Clean Houses For Cancer Patients

ToastyKen, Flickr

ToastyKen, Flickr

There’s nothing better than a little help when you’re enduring the rigors of chemo — a friend driving you to appointments, a meal delivered to your door, a buddy watching your kids while you rest and rebound from those icky infusions. What about someone cleaning your house? That would be nice, wouldn’t it? Sure would — and it’s entirely possible!

Cleaning for a Reason is newly-formed nonprofit offering free professional house cleaning and maid services to improve the lives of women undergoing treatment for cancer — any type of cancer.

Here’s how it works: If you currently use a professional house-cleaning service, please call and ask if they’re involved with the Cleaning for a Reason foundation. If not, ask them to sign up right here. If that’s a no-go or you don’t use a service but want to take advantage of this program, head on over here and search by state and city to find a participating service. A quick search of my area turned up two, and you can bet I’ll be sharing this info. with anyone in Gainesville who is headed for chemo.

To get the ball rolling, you’ll also need to sign up as a patient on the Cleaning for a Reason website. And if you’re not sure if this service is right for you, check out the testimonials from those who have received cleanings and those who have cleaned. I can’t speak firsthand about the program myself, but it seems clear that it’s a really big help. So, give it at try — or at the very least, help me spread the word.

Fight Breast Cancer and Other Major Diseases

clinical-research-400jd1104

ClinicalResearch.com

The following was written by Julie Hurvitz, on behalf of Quintles and ClinicalResearch.com

It’s wonderful to know that approximately 89 percent of women with breast cancer will be there to tell bedtime stories to their children this year. This number is much higher than it was 20 years ago due to early detection and improved treatments. As a daughter of a breast cancer survivor myself, I’m thankful for every single day my mother and I have together and every telephone call that is made and received. Medicines and procedures such as chemotherapy, hormone therapies and targeted biologics slow cancer down and keep it from coming back. And these victories are all due to advancements in medicine made possible by clinical research.

Today, I’m proud to introduce you to www.ClinicalResearch.com, a new resource that provides important facts about clinical research, encourages more people to become champions of clinical research and builds excitement for the promise of tomorrow’s medicines!

Sponsored by Quintiles, www.ClinicalResearch.com presents easy-to-use, comprehensive information for those who have little or no understanding of clinical research and the value it brings to healthcare. With a few clicks, patients who visit www.ClinicalResearch.com can identify ongoing or future clinical trials appropriate for their disease or condition and narrow them down to those that are geographically convenient. What else can ClinicalResearch.com provide?

  • The Web site puts you in touch with supporting information about clinical research
  • www.ClinicalResearch.com also provides videos and news from recent studies

In order to win the fight against diseases such as cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, viral diseases, heart disease and stroke, millions of people need to be aware of and participate in clinical trials and research. But more help is needed!

The clinical trial became the standard in developing drugs in 1962, and since then, the FDA has approved over 1,019 novel therapies. Virtually all the medicines used today are a result of clinical research, including all drugs for cancer, heart disease, depression, HIV, Alzheimer’s and asthma. Clinical research through clinical trials is arguably the greatest medical invention of the 20th century. It continues to deliver life saving medicines and treatments and gives hope to patients in need of better care and effective medicines. Need another reason to consider clinical trials? The research pipeline holds over 9,605 potential breakthroughs!

To hear patients and doctors tell their story about clinical trials, please click here.

Take a moment this afternoon to visit www.ClinicalResearch.com, browse around, and learn more about getting involved.

Pink Wallet Helps Young Survivors

lauren merkin wallet

www.laurenmerkin.com

Lauren Merkin is a huge supporter of breast cancer awareness, and every year she designs a special pink item from her collection, where 50 percent of the proceeds are donated to the Young Survival Coalition (this is a place for us under-40 breast cancer folks). This year she has designed a Fuchsia Tiled Embossed Lamb wallet, retail $175 — 50 percent going to YSC! Below, women sharing their thoughts about this international organization dedicated to the critical issues unique to young women and breast cancer.

Giveaway – STAND BY HER: A Breast Cancer Guide for Men

Leave a comment below to win this book!

Leave a comment below to win this book!

There’s a new breast cancer book out there, with a new twist — it’s for men. It’s called STAND BY HER: A Breast Cancer Guide for Men by John W. Anderson (AMACOM Books, October 2009).

Anderson watched his mother, Anne, die from breast cancer. Then, he watched his mother’s best friend Caryl, his sister Mary, and his wife Sharon battle breast cancer and survive. From these four extraordinary women, Anderson learned how breast cancer affects men and what men can do when women in their lives become its victims. After his wife reached her five-year cancer-free milestone, he decided to write a comprehensive reference and compass for husbands, fathers, sons, brothers and other caring men.

STAND BY HER is a step-by-step program targeted to men who want to become invaluable breast cancer caregivers to their loved ones, while at the same time helping them address and overcome their own personal fears, frustrations and anxieties caused by this disease. Combining anecdotes from his own and others’ secondhand experiences of breast cancer with extensive research and abundant resources, Anderson provides information, strategies and guidance on countless medical and emotional minefields men face, every day. Beginning with the challenge of interpreting and handling the initial diagnosis, he clearly explains the range of breast cancer treatments — from lumpectomy and chemotherapy to double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery.

Anderson is an Emmy-nominated director of television commercials, including Lifetime Television’s “Stop Breast Cancer for Life” campaign, and a writer, producer and director of television shows. He is a writer for newspapers and magazines, whose work has appeared in The New York Times, Rolling Stone, The Nation and many other publications. He has a blog www.standbyher.org.

And he’s going to be on The Today Show on October 8, talking all about the book. Check him out if you can.

And here’s some exciting news: One lucky reader is going to score a copy of Anderson’s book. Here’s the scoop on how to enter to win:

  • Leave a comment below sharing why you really want this book.
  • Leave your comment no later than 5PM ET on Friday, October 9, 2009.
  • You may enter only once.
  • Open to legal residents of the 50 United States, and the District of Columbia, who are 18 and older.
  • One winner will be selected in a random drawing.
  • One winner will receive one copy of STAND BY HER: A Breast Cancer Guide for Men, valued at $18.95.
  • Winners will be notified by email, so make sure to check next week to find out if you’ve won!

Mammogram Bus Rolling Through Puerto Rico

ruta pink mammogram bus

Ruta Pink mammogram bus

With early detection often leading to a 98-percent survival rate, mammograms are essential for women over 35. Unfortunately, millions of American women are uninsured, and don’t have the means to afford an annual mammogram test. But in Puerto Rico, uninsured women are turning to a new program for help.

Last year, Doral Bank in Puerto Rico partnered with Susan G Komen for the Cure and launched “Ruta Pink” (Pink Route). Ruta Pink is a pink mobile mammogram clinic that stops through various towns in Puerto Rico, offering women (and even men!) free mammograms, but also biopsies and referrals. These healthcare services are offered free of charge, for both sexes, whether they insured or uninsured.

In addition to providing direct health care services, Ruta Pink is also running free educational seminars about breast cancer prevention. The sessions also address self-esteem and healthy living tips for breast cancer survivors.

Since launching in June of 2008, Ruta Pink’s medical team has performed over 2,000 mammograms. And Doral is also committed to helping the Susan G Komen foundation by offering contributions every time a woman opens a “Pink” account with the bank.

With breast cancer awareness month (October) just around the corner, Doral Bank in Puerto Rico is leading the way for breast cancer prevention and education with its innovative, award-winning Ruta Pink initiative.

For more information about the program, you can contact the program’s exclusive hotline at (787) 625-5830 or visit their website at www.RutaPink.com. You can also watch their videos on YouTube at www.youtube.com/rutapink

It’s a Wrap, For Free

www.franceluxe.com

www.franceluxe.com

For the most beautiful hair ornaments in the world, France Luxe is the place to shop. Headbands and barrettes are the specialty at Laurie Erickson’s store, but for those without hair, she’s got something pretty amazing, too.

Through her Good Wishes program, Erickson is donating silk headscarves to women and girls losing their locks to illness or treatment. Why? “Our goal is to provide a small bit of comfort and share the power of positive thinking and good wishes with these individuals on their path to healing and recovery,” says the company website.

Yes, you can score a scarf for free (value: $72-$94) if you are dealing with the crappy state of hair loss. Even better, you get to pick your print. Just call this number to request your fancy freebie: 888.884.3653.

Comfort From a Boy

Writer Abigail Thomas offers in her book “Thinking About Memoir” the following writing exercise: Write two pages (one post) in which a child comforts an adult.

That’s easy.

The child was Joey. The adult was me. And it happened in February, 2005, one day after I realized my hair was shedding from my scalp faster than I could say chemotherapy. It had been 13 days since my second treatment with the toxic breast cancer drugs Adriamycin and Cytoxan, and not a rubber band nor a hat could hold my wisps in place. My scalp was sore, each hair still attached to my head hung with a weight that was nearly unbearable, and it had become abundantly clear that the moment had arrived: It was time to shave my head.

“Don’t worry, mom, you’re not going to die,” announced my almost 4-year-old boy, who was taking his turn shaving away the last of my chemo-stricken hair. “It’s only a haircut,” he assured me.

Whether he knew it or not, Joey was absolutely right. It was only a haircut. I didn’t die. And while some of his comments during my years fighting breast cancer weren’t as comforting — “You look like an alien,” he revealed while visiting me in the hospital in March of that same year — this is the one that still brings tears to my eyes, because, well, it was innocent, it was real and most of all, it was damn comforting.

joey-shaving-head-400jd0708

The child, almost 4 years old

The adult, 34 years old

This post can also be found at Braving Boys.

The Everything Flat Belly Cookbook

9781605506760

This isn’t a breast cancer book, but it’s related in a kind-of, sort-of way. You know how we hear all the time that eating a clean diet can help ward off cancer, and how breast cancer recurrence is less likely if you feed yourself mostly nutritious foods? Well, The Everything Flat Belly Cookbook is chock full of healthy recipes — 300 of them, to be exact — and the best thing about this handy, dandy book (except that my friend, neighbor and former trainer wrote it) is that you can whip up these eats in no time at all — and for not much money either. There’s nothing extravagant about the dishes you’ll find here, there are no fancy ingredients you’ll need to hunt down and I’m pretty sure adults and kids alike will gobble up these goodies. I mean, who doesn’t like toasted cheese? It’s in there, and you can make it with a mere 177 calories and absolutely no fat. Like taco salad? Me too. Especially the kind with only 233 calories and 2 grams of fat. And don’t worry, you can get your chocolate fix too. A dark chocolate pretzel rod will fill you with just 76 calories and 3 grams of fat. You won’t want to suck these down, of course, but a bit of chocolate here and there is definitely do-able.

There’s no question this book will help you stay healthy. It’ll keep your abs in fighting flat shape too. Now that’s a two-fer you’ve got to like.


What Breast Cancer Looks Like – Tracy

Tracy says, “I decided to shave my head before my hair started falling out.  I asked my family and some friends to come with me so that I wouldn’t lose my nerve.  It was an extremely emotional day for everyone as you can see from the picture of my husband and children.  But what I found out in the end is that I still looked like me when I looked in the mirror and once I accepted it, my family did the same.  One of my favorite pictures of all time is the picture of my newly shorn head with the hands of my husband, my mother and my two children on it.  I think it shows strength and acceptance and that has been the story of my breast cancer journey.  Strength from family and friends, strength of my own and acceptance that these are the cards we were dealt.  I have recounted the entire head-shaving day on my own blog and find that it is one of my favorite entries.”

To read more about Tracy and her inspiring journey, visit her blog here.

Want to show me what you think breast cancer looks like? Please send me a photo that captures the essence of breast cancer, and I will display it here. Email to jackidonaldson@gmail.com, make sure your shot is at least 450 pixels wide and tell me something about the photo. No blurry pics, please.

Fight Pink

If fighting breast cancer is on your mind, you’ve got to go see my friend Stacy and her fabulous “Fight Pink” site. Here it is — take a look and you’ll find that it’s filled with all sorts of good information and inspiration.

Want to know about the seven deadly health sins women make. Stacy’s got the dirt. Motivated by survivor stories. Check out this library of leading ladies. Need some scoop on breast cancer events and campaigns? Here you go.

Get ready. Get set. Now fight.

Photo courtesy of “Fight Pink”

PlanetKid – Caring for kids, writing about them too

Those of you who stop by regularly know that this blog is not all about breast cancer. It’s a lot about kids too. My kids. Those two little boys who simultaneously fill me with love and joy and render me a wacked-out mommy most days of the week. My emotional roller coaster aside, I love writing about my beautiful monsters. I hope you like reading about them.

Hopefully, you’ll enjoy reading about kids in general too, because I’ve landed a another writing gig, and I’d love for you to join me on this new ride. PlanetKid is where you’ll find me.

PlanetKid is a Drop-In, Flexible Child Care Center in Melbourne, Florida and also home to a very snazzy Child Care Blog. And that’s where I’ll be, blogging all about kids, for the parents and caregivers who love them. You’ll find me talking sleep, shoe-tying, books, sunscreen, giveaways and more. Every day, Monday through Friday, I’ll give you one post. Come by and take a read, share with others and leave me your comments too. It will be a nice break for all of us. You know, to forget the breast cancer for a while and re-focus on the little people of the world. That’s what I’m going to do. Hope you will too.

Dog Walking – and Other Life Ambitions

The following article was previously published in Gainesville Parenting Magazine.

Danny wants to be a dog walker when he grows up. He’s had a bit of practice walking his Nana’s dogs and is pretty sure this career path suits him well. If it doesn’t pan out, he has another option.

“When I grow up, I want to be a football guy,” 5-year-old Danny told his daddy the other day. If he ever asks me for guidance, I’ll push him in the doggie direction. It may not be as glamorous a job as football, but it’s got to be easier on the body. Should Danny opt for football, though, and end up needing medical attention, his brother Joey can respond.

Joey wants to be a doctor. He sprang his decision on me one day while we were walking through the parking deck at North Florida Regional Medical Center. We happened to be on the level where doctors park their cars, and we were admiring all the fancy vehicles when it clicked for 7-year-old Joey: If doctors have nice cars and nice cars cost lots of money, then doctors must be rich. On the spot, he named his future profession. He will be a doctor—or a “blogger.”

“I don’t want a job,” Joey declared recently while strolling around the yard. “I want to be a blogger, like mommy.”

I guess blogging—and all the other writing I do—doesn’t seem like much of a job to a kid who just knows his mom is with him all the time. That’s precisely why it’s such an ideal endeavor for me. I get to stay home with my kiddos, write when they are in school, and then seem completely unemployed when they return home. Still, I have a job. Joey will realize this some day, when he figures out the ways of the world. For now, I’ll let him bask in the simplicity of life, until his lease on this gift runs out.

There’s something so innocent and basic about how children approach life, something that makes it easy to dream of walking dogs and fixing bodies one minute and playing football and blogging the next. Wouldn’t it be grand if adult minds could arrive, if only for a moment, at the very place where kids imaginations run wild—the place where everything seems to make perfect sense.

After Joey announced his plans to become a doctor and just before a school drop-off one morning, I noticed a slick, sporty little car driving next to our worn and tattered mini-van.

“Look at that nice car,” I commented to my boys. Looking in the direction of the woman driving this cool ride, Joey said with absolute certainty: “She’s a doctor.”

Yep, life is simple for little ones. And how fun it is to be the mom of two of the greatest dreamers around—and to have a job that allows me the time to marvel at the wonder of my glorious guys.

25 Things About Me


1)    I have two beautiful boys who made big entrances into the world: One was 10 pounds, 9 ounces and the other was 10 pounds, 2 ounces. No C-sections. Just lots of drugs, lots of a pushing, a vacuum and two whopper episiotomies.
2)    My big boys left me with big tummy skin. Five years after the second baby arrived, I had a tummy tuck. I must say it was one of the best moves I’ve ever made. Something about sitting down and not having a roll of skin flop over the top of my pants is quite liberating.
3)    My biggest boy (Joey, he’s 8 years old) won’t stop growing. The kid wears my same shoe size, is something like four feet nine and weighs well into the 80s. His doc thinks he may be six feet six when he “grows up.”
4)    A tummy tuck is not the only surgery I’ve had. Before kids, I had a breast reduction and lost 4 pounds of dense, heavy tissue. I went from a 34 DDD to a 34 C. Another great move.
5)    My reduction may have saved my life, because 8 years later, a cancerous tumor showed up in my left breast. Had all that tissue not been removed, the mass could have been buried deep inside, detectable perhaps only at a late stage.
6)    My breast cancer was caught early (I found it while taking a shower). It was stage I, with no spread to lymph nodes. Still, it was aggressive and so my treatment was quite harsh.
7)    Being bald was the toughest thing I’ve ever had to endure.
8)    I am a licensed cosmetologist. Thought I didn’t want to go to college, so I did a vocational program in high school. Then realized I did want to go to college and spent the next seven years there.
9)    I got my undergrad degree from Kent State University and my grad degree from the University of Florida.
10)  I was born in Ohio and lived the majority of my years there. Yet Florida seems more like home, maybe because my mom and sister live here.
11)  Someone I know thinks my mom, sister and I look exactly alike. I guess that means I look 62 or my mom looks like she’s in her 30s. I’m going with the latter.
12)  For 30-some years, my sister and I were never told we looked alike. Then my hair grew back brown instead of the blonde it had always been, and it’s like we’re twins or something.
13)  I have very poor vision. What someone with perfect eyesight can see from 400 feet, I can only see from 20 feet. I hid my glasses in my bedroom closet for the whole year I was in first grade. Wonder if that made things worse.
14)  It took me 37 years to learn how to eat well. I figure a healthy lifestyle is my key to surviving cancer so no red meat, alcohol or sweets for me. I only drink water (although not enough, I’m pretty sure) and try to consume lots of fruits and veggies. I watch calories and fat but sometimes go overboard on the bad carbs. I just can’t resist restaurant bread.
15)  I’ve been known to exercise obsessively (to maintain my weight and stay healthy too) but am sad to report that I’m just not feeling the motivation lately. Burnout, maybe.
16)  I’m a neat freak but not a clean freak. I don’t clean once a week or anything, just when I notice the dust piling up. But everything must be in place at all times.
17)  I traveled to Europe just after graduating from high school and for the whole month I was away, I wanted to be home. I never want to go back.
18)  I hate to travel. I hate packing, driving or flying long distances, living out of suitcases. I was miserable on a flight to Hawaii many years ago, and while traveling from Ohio to Florida as a kid, I could will myself to sleep for almost the entire drive.
19)  My boys have never seen snow but can’t wait to see it. And I can’t imagine ever getting them to a snowy location, because it will require travel.
20)  My boys want a baby sister. I don’t want another baby.
21)  I miss my grandma, who died three weeks after my second guy was born.
22)  I love candles and silence.
23)  I love when my boys are really happy. My heart breaks when they are really sad.
24)  I have been married for 13 years. John remembers exactly what I was wearing the day we met. I remember that he complimented me on my cute toes.
25)   I’ve worked at a hair salon, a yogurt + tanning salon, as an RA at Kent State and a judicial officer at UF, as a college administrator, a preschool assistant teacher and as a server of booze at Blossom Music Center in Ohio. My favorite jobs, though, without question: Mommy and writer.

I love you, a little bit

Danny recently made his Nanny a thank-you card for the Christmas gifts she gave him. He drew pictures of her favorite things—a butterfly, a flower, a swimming pool, a rainbow, an alligator, a snail and a wolf (a cat is what he intended, but he said he couldn’t draw one). When I told him I really liked the snail, he announced that he would make me something. “It’s a secret,” he said. “Don’t look.”

I didn’t look. But I couldn’t help but notice the fit he threw when he messed up on his masterpiece. Crayons went flying. Scissors hit the floor. Groans and moans filled the room. I was mad. I told him his behavior was not appropriate, that he needed to calm down and start again. He eventually did. I praised his ability to recover and told him, “I love you, Danny.”

“I love you, too,” he said. “A little bit.”

I’m OK with this. I know Danny loves me more than he lets on. He proved it by making me four perfect snails, one for each person in our family (“This one is daddy, this one is you, this one is me when I was a baby and this one is Joey when he was two”). He put them in brown lunch bag, folded it over, taped it closed and asked how to spell “Jacki.” I told him. He wrote it down. And then he presented me with his gift.

“It doesn’t matter if the letters are backwards,” he declared while handing over the bag. No it doesn’t. A backwards “J” works just fine for me.

My four little snails, drawn with orange marker and cut out in kindergarten fashion, sit next to me at this very moment. They are beautiful. And so is Danny. I really love that guy. A lot.