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Five years ago, on November 24, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And today, on another November 24, I learned that my recent MRI, showing some suspicious little nodules, is nothing to worry about. The news comes from my surgeon, who offered me a second opinion. The first opinion, by the way, was that I probably had nothing to worry about, but now it’s official:
“Your MRI is fine, the small spots represent fibrocystic disease, a benign condition.”
Whew!
Today I learned that my CA 125 test was negative. That means that there is no indication that I have ovarian cancer. But because I have breast cancer and the two are cancers are linked, I will continue to be screened for both. I also learned that Friday will be my last day of radiation. It was scheduled to end on Tuesday, May 31st but my radiation oncologist thought I could end on Friday and not come back after the Memorial Day holiday. She will adjust my treatment doses so that I get what I need this week. Four more days.
My real peace of mind came today from a discussion I had with my radiation oncologist. She is a well-respected doctor and has been highly recommended by many. So I have been interested in her opinion about my chemotherapy treatment but have been afraid to ask her. Since I’ve had two different opinions (one to continue with chemo and one to stop), I was scared she would say I should continue. I do not want to continue and do not think my body could even tolerate the treatment. But I still second-guess myself and have had some dark moments contemplating whether or not I cut myself short on treatment. This oncologist said I did not. She agreed that I should not have received Taxol, the drug I refused. Like others, she said the benefit would be so small and the toxicity could be so great. She said she would not have done it herself. And she said if I do have a recurrence of cancer, it will not be because I didn’t receive Taxol. This brings me great peace.
I hope to gain more peace of mind with my therapy — which begins tomorrow.
Jacki Donaldson
I changed oncololgists. I did not feel much warmth from my first doctor and needed someone who would be a partner with me in my medical decisions. So yesterday, I met with my new doctor. He told me something I did not expect to hear — that I do not need Taxol, the drug I was to receive via chemotherapy for the next eight weeks. I liked his opinion since I felt really apprehensive about this next round of chemo. He told me some doctors rely a lot on computer programs that spit out statistics on recurrence and mortality. He likes to balance statistics with intuition. And his intuition is that the side effects of Taxol, some potentially long-term, do not outweigh the benefit of receiving this treatment. In essence, receiving Taxol would be an overtreatment for me.
But the decision is ultimately mine — and all last night I was plagued with what to do. So I called my doctor this morning to ask him one more question and he told me he’d been thinking of me since our appointment yesterday. He said he called another well-known oncologist in town and shared my history. They did some research and concluded that with Taxol, I may have a extra .7% chance of survival. Both doctors agreed they would definitely not use Taxol for me. My doctor said that if his wife was in my same situation, he would not advise her to go forward with treatment.
So my decision is made. I will not continue with chemotherapy — which means it’s over! No more drugs. No more side effects. No more hospital trips. My hair can start growing back.
There are some other big things coming my way. I will give some blood in the next few days for a genetic test that will determine if I have a breakdown in a gene that may have caused my breast cancer. If I test positive for this breakdown, the implications are huge. It will mean I have a pretty good chance of getting breast cancer again. And my chances for getting ovarian cancer will be high also. Some women who test positive opt to have their breasts and ovaries removed which cuts down on the risk significantly. If I were to test positive and proceed with the surgeries, I would not need radiation. If I test negative and keep all my body parts, then I will have radiation. It takes four weeks for the test results to come back so within a month or so, I should know which path I might take. But that’s all in the future and I’m going to live in the present right now and enjoy the complete relief I feel that chemo is behind me.
I have long felt that something was not right with this next round of chemo. My gut told me not to do it. But my head argued with my gut and I was completely torn. Just as I gave in and told myself that I must go on, this change of events occurred. I should have trusted my gut.
Jacki Donaldson